If Automobiles Were Designed By Microsoft.

They would come in 500 body styles and 2000 colors yet only start 50% of the time.

As well as a car, it would also be a boat, an airplane, a lawn mower, a washing machine, a refrigerator and a video camera. But none of these would ever work properly.

They would have 1000 page instruction manuals, written in incomprehensible jargon, which would devote 100 pages to the car seats, but none to tell you what to do if the car doesn’t start, nor how to adjust the timing, injection or change the spark plugs.

Sometimes when you turned the key to start, insulting or incomprehensible messages would bellow out from a speaker beneath the dashboard, such as, “What you are doing is illegal!” or “Error! The blexpics is unattached to the fundumentum, do you wish to continue, yes, no?) Often when driving along, you would get one of these messages and the engine would stall.